Well Beatrice, today’s the day! We’re patrolling super-dangerous territory today, so HQ has ordered both Squad C and Squad F to check the area out. You know what that means, Beatrice? I get to spend all day with my darling Pim! Oh, Pim…
Hey, I wonder if “Pim” is short for something? I can’t imagine what, though… Pimberly? Pimothy? Pames? I should stop before I hurt myself.
“Listen up, teams. There have been reports of an especially zomb-infected area in the eastern section of Rosemont. Kids have been disappearing, so our priority is to find them and rescue them to the best of our ability. Those too close to turning are to be shot on sight. There is no time for mercy here, people.”
For a small person, Pim Darling spoke with authority people respected. It was a trait Billy strongly admired and was envious of at the same time. Whenever he tried to speak like that to his squad, they just stared blankly at him. He usually had to repeat himself several times as well before everyone understood his command.
One day, Beatrice, I’ll show them. I’ll show them Billy Art is no fool! Hell, I made squad leader, didn’t I? Maybe now that Allison is dead, they’ll start listening to me when I say, “Listen up, fools. Don’t step on armed landmines because, guess what? it’ll fucking kill you.” I don’t mean to use Allison as an example, but you know… I think she spat in my morning coffee once. So… yeah. It’s called “karma,” Allison. Kaaaaarmaaaa.
“Billy, are you listening?”
“Yeah.”
Pim rocked back on her leg and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“What did I just say?”
“All squads report back in front of the Havington Apartments at 17:00 hours.”
Pim opened her mouth to retort angrily at him, but hesitated when she realized he’d recited her word for word. She smiled at him and nodded.
“Alright then. Squad C, move out. Squad F, we’ll be seeing you,” she said, saluting Billy before following after her team.
Billy turned towards his own squad. They were still looking morose after losing Allison yesterday. Billy knew it was up to him to lift their spirits.
“Come on, team! You all look like a bunch of zombies! Let’s see some smiles!” he said, flashing what he hoped to be a winning smile at them. It was creepy how not one of them even blinked at him. Maybe they all were zombies…
I would have shot them all right there, Beatrice, except then Porcia swore colorfully and threw her water canister at my face. She can get it back when she apologizes to me or kills a Class 10 zombie single-handedly. Wearing a blindfold. And reciting the alphabet backwards.
Satchel grunted and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Let’s just go kill some fucking zombies already,” he grumbled, knocking into Billy’s shoulder as he strode past him. The others followed after him. Billy moved aside so they wouldn’t knock into his shoulder again, and brought up the rear.
---
The eastern section of Rosemont was grey, grey, and grey with a dash of dark grey. A more depressing place Billy had yet to see. The area was rife with abandoned apartment complexes, a favorite place for kids to play hide-and-seek and tag. Zombies, too, found the area a favorite place to play seek-and-devour and ambush. Which probably explained the sudden disappearance of kids these days.
I blame the schools AND the parents. I mean, who the hell lets their kids play hide-and-seek when there are ZOMBIES out there? Good God, people, we’re not making this shit up!
A high-pitched whistle drew Squad F’s attention to the top floor on one of the apartment buildings. Billy could only just make out Pim’s beautifully proportioned figure waving at them to signal she and her squad had this part covered.
“I guess we’ll go patrol over there, then,” Billy said to his squad, gesturing in a general direction away from Squad C’s area. Nobody said anything as they took out their weapons of choice and began looking for any signs of life or undead life.
Billy watched them all go and was about to follow after when he heard a high-pitched scream from up above. He turned and looked up where he had last seen Pim. Her back was turned to him now, and gunfire erupted loudly from where she stood. A zombie must have tried to sneak up on her, and she was ripping it a new one now. Billy smiled. He liked women who could take care of themselves.
Of course, a woman who can take care of herself doesn’t always stand a chance against a Class 5 zombie. Those shitheads are known for charging at a person, completely oblivious to gunshots and the like. They were freakin’ kamikazes, and few lived to give a first-hand account of how painful it is to get tackled by one of them. Especially if the resulting charge leads to one falling out a ten-story building.
Billy watched as both Pim and the zombie plummeted to their doom. The zombie exploded into a thousand broken pieces. Pim at least stayed in one piece. Broken, but whole.
Billy stood rooted to the spot, not even noticing as members of both Squad C and F came rushing to the spot where Pim had fallen, everyone yelling and screaming.
Not only did Pim die today, but so did a piece of me…
Until next time.
B.
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